You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
