The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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