I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
