I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
