he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
