the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
