He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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