Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
