Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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