you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
