Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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