Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize