She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
