Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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