I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
