yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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