Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
