I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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