Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
