oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It was confusing and full of hummus
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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