Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
