That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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