i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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