Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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