i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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