would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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