WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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