sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
