just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
