Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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