It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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