His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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