tell your sister to shave her snatch
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
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