Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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