Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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