Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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