I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize