At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
