I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
