just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
