im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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