Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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