I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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