the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.