Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(