Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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