Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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