Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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