Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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