I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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