Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
