I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
