South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
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well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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