I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
