i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
