oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
