is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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