Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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