this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Just puked most of my soul out..
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
