Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
