sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
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dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
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I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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