I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
