please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
50% drunk capacity currently
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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