So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
